


undisclosed desires

by usedtobeablackbird



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Present time, and thoughtful, based on muse, it's very cute, just a lot of toothrotting fluff, no angst i promise, sweet stuff u guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 19:50:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14838087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usedtobeablackbird/pseuds/usedtobeablackbird
Summary: Dan, who was just so aesthetically pleasing and breathtakingly beautiful that he wondered how he ever deserved someone like that. How he deserved to take care of someone like that, how he gained the privilege to love someone so gentle, teasing and loving, someone who knew him so well.





	undisclosed desires

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to, you can listen to undisclosed desires by muse while reading, after all that's the title and the mood and i heard it nonstop while writing it (which really annoyed my sister) ^-^

It wasn’t often that they felt like that.

The way that made Phil grin for no reason and made Dan smile at him like he had all the answers to the universe. The one when the sun was about to set and their balcony windows were wide open, making a breeze gently tickle across Phil’s arms and the smell of the fresh tulips on the balcony fill the air. The way that made them have conversations through simple glances and stares, the one that made them feel like they were normal people and like nothing else mattered in that moment.

They both knew that their viewers didn’t really matter in their private life, but there was always this presence hovering over them, and they couldn’t really define it. In moments like this, they truly felt alone and private, without needing to shut all the blinds. 

Phil’s eyes fixed on the figure of Dan, fiddling with their music box because Phil had silently asked for it through a simple touch, Dan, who was just so aesthetically pleasing and breathtakingly beautiful that he wondered how he ever deserved someone like that. How he deserved to take care of someone like that, how he gained the privilege to love someone so gentle, teasing and loving, someone who knew him so well. 

The next moment, Dan was coming back smiling to Phil, who was leaning on the counter, and then Muse filled the air and Dan took Phil’s hands in his, laid Phil’s right hand on his waist and his own left one on Phil’s shoulder. 

Phil just took that as a cue to cuddle closer, almost hugging Dan, as they started slowly dancing in a way no one else ever learned, in a way that no one else could ever dance, just them, their dancing, them, perfectly in tune.

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart,_

_I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask,_

_I want to exorcise the demons from your past,_

_I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart._

Dan began humming along, and Phil just rested his head on the younger one’s shoulder, listening to his heartbeat, slow and steady.

There had been times when Phil felt like he was the narrator of this song. The time when Dan had desperately cuddled up on him, had secretly shedding tears, hoping Phil didn’t notice and Phil pretending that he didn’t. The time when they hadn’t lived with each other for long enough to not be mad about broken dishes, the time when Phil was so in love the only thing he wanted for his life was fulfilling Dan’s dreams and making him happy. 

That was a very active, butterfly love.

There had been times when Dan felt like he was the narrator of the song, too. They came later. After they stopped being mad about broken dishes, and after Phil finally let his guard down and let Dan take care of him. After Phil stopped strictly not talking about his feelings and problems and demons, but answered Dan’s questions, and let himself be held. Dan had never felt more privileged than that to love Phil.

That was a very calming, hurting moon-ish love.

And then there were times like now, when they felt like it was **their** song, when they acknowledged that both of them wanted to heal the other. Both of them wanted to give the other the world, both of them would have happily fought a war for the other if necessary. Both of them slowly felt like one. The time when they started to become comfortable and stopped trying to only be the strong one. The time where they felt like they were fighting the same fights if they fought, when there wasn’t a question coming up who did what in a critical situation, because they knew without needing to exchange words or glances.

That was a very freeing, undertone but fulfilling, sun-like love. 

**Author's Note:**

> so.. i hope u liked that? I listened to a lot of muse today because i saw them last night on the live stream of rock am ring and i liked it a lot, and discovered i knew undisclosed desires for longer than i thought (like 2013 or something) and i want to buy a muse album now. also i really like phan. so... this thing grew ^-^


End file.
